Called to Serve

"Dear Sister Jacobson:
You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Arizona Gilbert Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.
You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, September 2, 2015. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the English language."

   It's so crazy that I have my call and that this is where the Lord wants me to go. I'm so excited!
   As many of you know, I was set on going on a mission years ago, so it seems like this may have been an easy choice for me. But as the time grew closer to when I should start working on my mission papers, things became a lot more real for me, and I started hesitating. The decision to go on a mission was a much, much harder journey for me than I had anticipated.
   I first started debating with myself while I was in college during fall semester. When I came home for the winter semester, I knew I had a lot of thinking to do. I started thinking about the pros of going, and decided that a mission is the better thing for me to do in my life at this point. I started working on my mission papers and became very excited, because it was becoming so real. But even after telling myself I was going to go, I kept doubting for so long, even though I knew it would be a good choice. After more searching and praying, I decided again that I was going, but this time was wondering if I was even going for the right reasons. Was I going for myself or for the Lord? I started to wonder if my desires to go were only for my own benefits and growth. I pondered even more, fasted, and prayed. I met with my stake president for one of the final steps of completing my mission papers, and I talked to my mom as well. After council from them, I was beginning to feel a sense of peace in my decision. I kept searching for a more clear answer and came across an email that I printed off. It was an email that I wrote to Cody while he was on his mission in the summer of 2014. In that email, I talked about my excitement for my mission and why I wanted to go. And they are the reasons I want to go now. I want to go because I want to serve the Lord. I want to go because the gospel has brought me so much joy, and I can tell a difference in lives of people who have it and in those who don't, and I want to bring people that happiness.
   My decision to serve a mission was a long and hard process, full of ups and downs and re-making my decision at least 10 different times, but I know I'm doing the right thing, and I couldn't be more grateful for this call.
   Arizona here I come!!